Thoughts

Dear younger me,..

Dear Younger me,

Hey Lala 1-3 y.o! To you, I would like to say you are such a cute and good baby girl, thank you for being born with that dimple on your face, even if it’s only on one side of your cheek. Papa keeps saying that you have so many birthmarks on your body. but that’s fine baby, because it will fade as you grow older. I hope your days will always be filled with love, my love.

 Hey Lala 4-7 y.o! it must be nice playing along with your cousins. Doing ‘hide and seek’ game is what you like, right? but don’t play too hard baby, you might be stumbled. Ah, I know you also love catching fish in the small river next to our old house, people called it “ikan semintul” it’s so small and if you’re lucky you will find a fish with a coloured tail. Dear Lala, Mama and Papa start to worry because you have asthma. mama told me, that you can’t eat chicken, chocolate, and anything that you may like. Once a time, you told your sister that you want to eat chicken like her, but you can’t because you’re afraid that you will be sick. When papa heard that, He insisted mama to make an organic chicken for you.Mama also told me, there was a mom of your classmate who wants to give you some candies, but you told her that you can’t eat that. Do you remember when the first time you were going to the kid school? you were so afraid that mama and papa had to accompanied and stay with you during the class? and there was a time when papa got so angry because you were still so afraid after two weeks they escort you to school. Dear Lala, don’t be afraid of people they are just human like you. And thank you for obeying what your mama told you not to do. <3

Heyyy Lala 8- 11y.o! You have some best friends from school now :), believe it or not, some of them will be your best friends till your 20’s.This time, You were so obsessed about being the class administrators and you think that being in the top 10 will make you become one, right? well. it works! When you were in your 5th grade, you will be the kid in the top three of the class, and in the 6th grade, you will be one of the class administrators. You made it Lala! Even when it was seemed so impossible that time, because your asthma became worst. It was your first goal and achievement that you had ever made and reached.You love riding a bicycle, reading novels, and playing kite with boys in your neighborhood. It was so fun, right? Ah, and I want to remind you not to eat duck fried everyday! its fat isn’t good. Being scolded by your teacher isn’t bad either. Don’t be afraid. You aren’t always perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes some times. And talking about asthma that became worst, Mama and papa got so worried because there was a day that you got your asthma attack and almost lost consciousness. As I remembered you had to be hospitalized one to two times in a month and had to go to the doctor every month because of it. Don’t worry Lala, that disease will disappear slowly as you grow older.

Dear Lala 12 – 14 y.o, it must be nice to be a junior high school student, right? You joined OSIS organization and the next period you get to be the vice chairman of the student council. You started being a Kpop fan that time, You love super junior. Your grades still good, but you get lazier. You love watching drama till all night long. You lock yourself in your room and started to get distant from everyone. you love being yourself and feel the safest when you’re alone. Don’t be Lala, this world is much more than your k-dramas. When you’re older, you will miss the day you supposed to go out with friends. Don’t you worry either about your future, you will figure it out day by day. 

Dear 15-17 y.o Lala, You already have so many friends, and you’re so friendly to others, you also have some best friends. You love to hang out with your friends and spend your time after school to be with them. But this time you will understand how it feels like to be hurt by your friends too. That pain may last for years, but you will be fine. It’s the little thing that will teach you to be a tough girl. People come and go, and those who left will be changed with the better ones. Don’t you worry about those who talked behind you,will always stay behind you. Don’t sleep too much, it’s not good. I don’t know why you love to sleep so much, maybe you felt stress?. Don’t forget about your grades, because it turns into bad grades because you play too much. Call your parents some times. As you grow older, your parents will be too. You will realise it later when you lose your grandpa and grandma. You will have some regret for not having time to spend with them. Keep those who love and support you around, those are people whom you need. Don’t forget to go to church, don’t be lazy lala. Thanks for growing as a good girl and not giving up. 

Hey, 18-20 y.o Lala! Now you are a young adult, it’s still hard to figure out what to do ya? I know the future still seems so blurry right now. You have so many goals, but you are afraid. I know you are afraid that you can’t fulfill your dreams, and disappoint your parents.    I know your hard times during your 1st-4th semester in university, it must be a tough day for you. even you had days when you cried because you have a lot of tasks to do, and the day you felt so stupid because you got the only bad grade in the class.  Your circle gets smaller day by day, and now you get used to it. even though for the first time, you felt so lonely. Now you understand the reason to keep those real friends close to you. You get used to go out and count on your own self.    Making failure doesn’t mean the game is over, it means you have to try again till you become the winner.  Love your body, you are enough, sekalipun orang lain bilang kamu kurang ini itu, tapi selagi kamu ngerasa cukup sama dirimu sendiri, itu udah lebih dr cukup. 

thank you for reading. 

🙂 

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